Blog

As many readers will know, the release of my new book, Unraveled, is imminent. "Yeah yeah," I hear you thinking, "she's been banging on about this for months" - and you will be right. [Although I don't believe I've ever used the word "imminent" before. Just saying.] [caption id="attachment_752" align="alignleft" width="300"] The preview option on the KDP site shows my book cover as it would look on an iPad.[/caption] So I just wanted to give a brief rundown of what exactly is happening, lest some of you think I'll be talking about this fictional book forever and I probably haven't even started writing it yet [I have]. Also, I have a hunch that this may be useful for those of you who may...

Since I started writing about all this stuff I've been writing about, I've received a number of messages and emails from people who say they can really relate. Some say that they find my posts hard to read because it mirrors their own experience in a way that is difficult and painful. I understand. I think that when something gets to you in that way, it usually means that the wound has not truly healed - it is still raw and painful underneath the old, worn band-aid you managed to paste over it, way back when. [Or maybe not way back when - maybe even just yesterday, or last week.] I love getting feedback, and I am grateful that what I'm sharing resonates with people, even...

Years ago when I started seeing a shrink, I learned that there are ideal conditions by which a child develops in a healthy way, and when those conditions are thwarted, the child's development gets derailed. Those ideal conditions presuppose that a child grows up with two parents, in a secure environment, and is able to pass unhindered through all the stages of human development – such as learning to crawl/walk, use the potty, resolve the oedipal complex, etc. etc. If all of those transitions are successful, the child will grow into a strong and well-adjusted adult that is able to have healthy relationships and participate fully in life. If not, there will be problems. Of course this may be an oversimplification...

I have had such a strong response to the last post I wrote - thank you to everyone who has commented, emailed, messaged, or even spoken to me about it in person. Clearly narcissism is far more common than one might be inclined to think, and many people have been affected by this heinous disorder, in one way or another. To me, narcissism is an evil force. One of the best descriptions of it I have read is in M. Scott Peck's book People of the Lie. In the introduction, he writes that the word "evil" is "live" spelled backwards. His young daughter pointed it out to him. Such simple, clear-eyed logic; so perfect. Evil is the antithesis of life. It is anti-life. It...

Six years ago this week my mother died, and left behind an extremely painful legacy. It’s always hard when someone leaves this world with unfinished business. Death is so final, and at least while the person is alive, there’s always that small chance that maybe, just maybe, things might change. Whatever “things” might be. That differs for each of us. I guess one of the hardest thing to come to terms with is that someone is not the person you wanted, or needed, them to be. I will freely admit that I have struggled to come to terms with what my mother left behind. That final blow, which I wrote about here, was incredibly painful. However, I also realize that it was not...

I wrote this post for the Reykjavík Grapevine last Monday, after the Icesave verdict had been passed down but it didn't make it into print.  An almost palpable ripple of relief passed through Icelandic society at precisely 10.30 am on Monday, January 28, when the EFTA court passed a judgment stating that Iceland had been within its rights to refuse claims by the UK and Holland over the failed Icesave online bank. This put to rest one of the nastiest disputes in Icelandic history – one that had Iceland pitched against some of its closest foreign allies, and which polarized the nation into two camps incessantly hurling verbal assaults at each other. For those who don’t know what Icesave is ...

In the last while I've had a few people ask me what's going on with my new book - the novel for which I was requesting beta readers a while back. Well, the writing is done, the beta reading is done, the editing is done, I think we've nailed a cover for it [I'm so fortunate to have a graphic designer at my disposal in the form of my supremely talented husband], and now I'm figuring out the best way to get it out there, with respect to method, timing, and so on. Brief recap: the book is called Unraveled and it's a novel. In the story, an Icelandic woman named Frida has recently moved back to Iceland with her husband, a British diplomat...

Anyone interested in metaphysics or spiritual matters will know this: our outer circumstances mirror our inner circumstances. We attract or are drawn to people and situations that correspond with what we believe to be true, or somehow reflect what we are feeling. This has rarely been more starkly evident in my life than when I was going through the sort of deconstruction that I described in the last post - that drawn-out, painful death of old beliefs, attitudes and illusions that we all go through, in some way or other, and at some point or other, in our lives. It suppose it started with an inexplicable attraction to cemeteries. Instead of simply walking past as I always had done, I started going...

Within be fed, without be rich no more: So shalt thou feed on death, that feeds on men, And death once dead, there's no more dying then.                                     William Shakespeare, Sonnet 146 We are so conditioned to think of death as the surrender of the flesh to the Grim Reaper that we don’t realize that death also happens to us even when we are still alive. During our formative years we learn things that shape us, for better or for worse. We become conditioned. Often that conditioning is not healthy. It may be made up of negative patterns that our parents learned, and that they pass on to us. It may be made up of beliefs that we form because we do not have a...

Recently I was at a gathering where people were discussing Christmas, and the difficult feelings that are often associated with it. It seems like that time of year has the ability to highlight so many hurts in our lives, and it takes a lot of strength not to spiral out of control emotionally. What struck me as I listened was how many of us struggle to get our needs met by people who aren't willing or able to meet them. Sometimes this can mean our relationship with our spouse. Sometimes with our families of origin. Sometimes with friends, or people we are in love with. We keep hoping, even against hope, that those things we so desperately need - love, attention, caring, whatever...